This is for you,you and not YOU

Here I am on a Saturday morning wondering if am a princess or a bull or an ululus. I know am over-the-top paranoid today and the smallest of things upset me and I shouldn’t really care about what people say; If you’re reading, (I highly doubt it) know your not perfect nor am I ; I know am not smart enough or cool enough to be your friend anymore; people drift away, it happens. I had a very cheap, funny poem about you; it was a product of all my nastiness combined but I didn’t post it and doubt I’ll ever do such a thing. Goodbye, former friends and if me or some other people being miserable makes your day, go ahead and enjoy!

P.S.: we always saw right through your pseudo- intellectual airs. You’re fooling no one; you do have some talent hope you put it to good use. Adieu to you, all my fair weather friends, if our path do cross and you ignore my existence; know that I will smile for I know what you truly are…

I don’t know what your problem is lady; I don’t care about what you make for breakfast, dinner or lunch. I can very well survive without eating a meal or two and you don’t have to fuss over me skipping a meal. Don’t tell me my room is not neat enough- cleanliness is not exactly a virtue in my book. You can’t change me, so please give up. You can fix up all the matches in the world – but please spare me, getting married or having kids is not one of my lives goals and it will never be so. I still do love you but please don’t push me away. I am sure you have you can find better things to do than finds faults in me- it does not encourage but discourage. You will never get that. Will you?

You’re a saint; but I don’t want to be you. Girls dread turning into their mothers and that’s the stuff my nightmares are made of; that and the assorted bag of calamities that paranoid me makes up. You can do sudoku all day but please don’t ask me to pray or believe that is not how things work. If you’d read this you would say there’s too much negativity and that I should refrain from writing things like this. You’ve been my fan, my critic and my support but I’ve changed a lot and you don’t know me anymore, you don’t want to know me anymore. This bird flew out of the nest a long time ago.

I am not your little girl anymore. I have done a lot of things that little girls are not supposed to do; things that am not particularly proud of’. I chose not to be another frog in the well; and that’s when you realized that I existed and noticed me; I was gone before you knew it; that was five years ago. I admire you I look up to you – you will always be my hero but this is my life you can’t protect me forever. I love you and I’ll always be your little girl; nothing can change that but you have to let go. I may not do all the things you want me to do but I still want to make you proud, but I am lost right now and I have to find my way on my own. I will still ask for your advice when I think I need it. You just have to let this wild flower flourish by itself. I just hope you get to know the real me someday and I get to know you…

… I am just having one of those days!

The universe is out to get me today!