LAST SUMMER, in retrospect.....

Well this post is all about the last summer. But first I have to apologise to everyone for i had promised to post ages ago! I have been too busy wasting my time on things that are just not worth it. It’s not an excuse but I surely would like to spare everyone the trashy chick lit genre that all my pieces have morphed into recently. (Yeah! I have been writing more than usual for sure.) The reason is pretty obvious from the earlier posts and it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. So in the process of loading up on comfort foods, ice cream et all by the ton and crying, worrying and wishing that all my problems drown in certain substances, i stopped and remembered the very eventful last year.

Last may, i had the time of my life. The fact that we were done with graduation was just setting in and it was a time where confusion and mayhem rained supreme. There was no escaping the fact that we were adults now and had to make serious choices about our careers. It also meant that we had hit a fork in the road and all of us were on different paths and our time together had run out. So the whole month was made- up of goodbyes, farewell parties, promises made to one and other and many a silly pacts. A few fights and bruised egos, misunderstandings created etc. lead to a cold war and broke up a great friendship. (If the two people am talking about are reading this please understand that you guys were best friends and i still keep wondering how you can’t stand each other right now.)We will never have those days back and the biyatch sisterhood has now been replaced by the UBgroup( united bevdas/bevdis).One thing i can say for sure the speck-O-meter had its swan song that summer. (Speck-O-meter: a device created for a little girl who liked any boy with specks or glasses, so every time a suitable specimen walked by, the human powered device would start going "speck, speck, speck" in very high pitched alarming tone so as to draw her attention and so that she would do the needful i.e. check out the approaching specimen.)

It was also a summer that i dumped my cynicism and skepticism regarding a few things that I had given up on a long time ago. It was like free falling, there was nothing I could control and i knew deep down that I would never feel this way or experience the head rush that I got from that free fall. It was an once in a lifetime experience that cannot be replicated and will be locked up for ever in chest of memories in my head. But like all falls it was a crash and burn in the end and it has left with a few injuries permanent injuries and has given birth to the new and improved "cynical and skeptical me”. All thanks to that i snap more often, am ruder than usual and have definitely have the making of a legendary bitch and psycho all wrapped into one. (Oh! yeah you don't want to fuck with me! and see i already have a bright future in this department.) In retrospect, i felt and did the things that i thought, I never could experience and do in this lifetime and will cherish these memories painful as they are when am older, lonely and bitter.

It was summer of sleepless nights spent on the phone courtesy airtels ten paise calling and hours were spent exchanging sweet nothings, talking about life, love and philosophies in dealing with both and hours that were spent on this felt like minutes and the sun always rose too soon and we were forced too end our conversation. Crazy, insane things like dates like a coffee date at two in the night which I missed because I was too drunk and midnight rendezvous. It was like living dreams in motion and the lines between real life and fantasy jarred. It was good while it lasted and I can say this much I will never have this again, but some things are just that "too good to be true". And then the bubble bursts and your instantly attacked by the sharp, hostile winds of reality that swallow you up and the comfort and closeness of the bubble is lost forever.

May be I was a fool to fall head over heels into a state from which I knew I could never recover. And I was stupid to believe that the other person felt the same way.... but i guess, I'll never be able to differentiate fact from fiction now and there and too many lies clouding up what I believed then. And as the concerned person chooses not to clarify anything, am at a total loss and the only thing that meant anything to me seems be a figment of my imagination. But even if it was lie, it seemed real to me then and maybe ignorance is bliss for i have never known anything like that. What seemed like a concrete structure then now seems like a castle in air, a mirage blown away by the sands of time and erased by the cruel hand of fate.

Moving on from this sad story we have the next good thing that happen to me - the university. Before that of course there was the endless wait for our results and then the wait for our first classes at the post graduation level to begin. Life turned into one big waiting room and there was a lot of TP happening in the process. The results keeping up with Pune university tradition were late so it involved a lot of running around and doing nothing and just whiling our time away in savera. Savera is a restaurant frequented by fergussonians(am talking about the college and not that black eyed peas chick that all guys drool over or that loser coach of manchester united or his fans or whatever.)This place has the weirdest networking I have seen in a while- the system of smoke buddies! In the smoking section at savera or the outdoor section, everyone knows everyone - united by one cause - supporting the tobacco economy in the country. So all types of discussions take place here ranging from intellectual (duh what the hell are they talking about?)to pseudo-intellectual(fine so I see your using your Internet whore wikepedia and trying to fool other people in believing your an intellectual) to the your regular chirpy air headed bimbette(duh this expression suffices)who can do anything from flirting with some committed guy or discussing to discussing clothes or bags or shoes (yeah she comes close to the your regular yuppie but these will be found down the road at CCD or barista) another way to spot this variety is to observe their conversations they will generally start with a high pitched shrill "oh my god, you know what happen...".

Savera also has your share of bored people like me who will do anything for some entertainment, even make friends fight, after all desperate times (of boredom) call for desperate measures! This particular incident will sum up the whole mood of savera, this time i was the guinea pig. My friend and I have been known to have the worst of fights it can be a communism vs. capitalism or perhaps the debates on vegan ism etc. and things generally turn nasty in the heat of the debate. So there is this guy who all of a sudden looks at us like were clowns in a circus and says "fight". And we were like "what the fuck dude?" and he is like starts a mock imitation of "fuck you bitch" no fuck you bitch" and the word fuck being used like it was a punctuation mark. (Yeah! classic case of getting a taste of your own medicine.)

Also the way we used to mock people who didn't want to be caught smoking in such a public place. The joke was about how such a person, who was desperate for a smoke steal a few drags. Step one borrow a friends cigarette, step two stick your head under the table and take a drag and the last step go under the table and BLOW! And hence the blow jobs under the table pun totally intended! Its not sounding all that funny now but the routine did ensure us laughing till out tummies began to hurt.

And that was how the last summer was spent or wasted perhaps, it is totally perceptive. After that the university started and the university is another post, another day, which will be a continuation of this post. Hence if you wondering why the flashbacks, then I have just one thing to say "to know where you are going, you need to know where you have been".

LOVE,

Aditi.