Notes about "it" (creature)

Our first meeting was in a hospital in Mangalore. I was introduced to this pink looking creature that was cocooned in a white bundle; they insisted that it was my little sister. I don’t recall what I felt then; but the pictures show me sulking; I was clearly was not happy. Maybe I had senses at a tender age of two that life would never be the same again.I was no longer the center of attention; I was no more the baby.

As she grew up and crawled all over the place she made a bee-line for my toys and everything that was mine; this continues to this day and I kindly return the favour by borrowing her things too. As we grew older we realized that we were polar opposites and we didn’t even look alike. This gave me a brilliant idea I told her she was adopted for she didn’t resemble anyone in the immediate family, I also added that she was a monkey my parents found hanging on the trees and they chopped her tail off and decided to raise her as a human. I guess she still holds this against me and we never got along. We did have a few rare moments where we bonded like the time when we dumped most of mom’s make –up into a bucket to make a witches brew or uniting against a common enemy; but they were rare.

Then came the challenging teenage years; the territorial battles continued and manifested themselves into fights that were both physical and verbal. She accused me of stretching her top; I blamed her for running my shoe; I raided her secret stash of chocolates and ate them all and she got mad and got her revenge by some way or the other but silly things like these turned our home into a battlefield and chairs tables and glasses were used as weapons. It was usually a kick, bite, scratch, pinch, punch and pull hair routine that we followed till we were tired or till some one gave up. This continued till I moved out; not having to look at each other everyday changed our relationship and I did miss my fight buddy a lot. No could hold a candle to her when it came to fighting.

I like the relationship that we share at present; we are not the best of friends but we are not enemies either. It’s more of a live and let live kind of an arrangement. We do talk and I think we are getting close to being friends; we may not share all our secrets but we do care about each other. Being the older one I take it on myself to guide and protect her and she does come to me for advice when she needs it. We still do enjoy a playful repartee and I sometimes refer to her as “it” or “creature” affectionately.

When I was younger I told my parents that they didn’t need to have her when they had me. But life wouldn’t have been the same without my sister.

(I wrote this for renu she asked me to write about a special relationship for sakaal times and this is what I wrote, this is the un-cut, unedited and flawed version)

This is for you,you and not YOU

Here I am on a Saturday morning wondering if am a princess or a bull or an ululus. I know am over-the-top paranoid today and the smallest of things upset me and I shouldn’t really care about what people say; If you’re reading, (I highly doubt it) know your not perfect nor am I ; I know am not smart enough or cool enough to be your friend anymore; people drift away, it happens. I had a very cheap, funny poem about you; it was a product of all my nastiness combined but I didn’t post it and doubt I’ll ever do such a thing. Goodbye, former friends and if me or some other people being miserable makes your day, go ahead and enjoy!

P.S.: we always saw right through your pseudo- intellectual airs. You’re fooling no one; you do have some talent hope you put it to good use. Adieu to you, all my fair weather friends, if our path do cross and you ignore my existence; know that I will smile for I know what you truly are…

I don’t know what your problem is lady; I don’t care about what you make for breakfast, dinner or lunch. I can very well survive without eating a meal or two and you don’t have to fuss over me skipping a meal. Don’t tell me my room is not neat enough- cleanliness is not exactly a virtue in my book. You can’t change me, so please give up. You can fix up all the matches in the world – but please spare me, getting married or having kids is not one of my lives goals and it will never be so. I still do love you but please don’t push me away. I am sure you have you can find better things to do than finds faults in me- it does not encourage but discourage. You will never get that. Will you?

You’re a saint; but I don’t want to be you. Girls dread turning into their mothers and that’s the stuff my nightmares are made of; that and the assorted bag of calamities that paranoid me makes up. You can do sudoku all day but please don’t ask me to pray or believe that is not how things work. If you’d read this you would say there’s too much negativity and that I should refrain from writing things like this. You’ve been my fan, my critic and my support but I’ve changed a lot and you don’t know me anymore, you don’t want to know me anymore. This bird flew out of the nest a long time ago.

I am not your little girl anymore. I have done a lot of things that little girls are not supposed to do; things that am not particularly proud of’. I chose not to be another frog in the well; and that’s when you realized that I existed and noticed me; I was gone before you knew it; that was five years ago. I admire you I look up to you – you will always be my hero but this is my life you can’t protect me forever. I love you and I’ll always be your little girl; nothing can change that but you have to let go. I may not do all the things you want me to do but I still want to make you proud, but I am lost right now and I have to find my way on my own. I will still ask for your advice when I think I need it. You just have to let this wild flower flourish by itself. I just hope you get to know the real me someday and I get to know you…

… I am just having one of those days!

The universe is out to get me today!