Its there waiting-
To be found or to be hidden,
Morphing in and out-
Through The realms of conscious and sub- conscious.
Chaos has an order to it,
It’s organised into a code-
That mocks us,
For the key was always around.
Beginning? End? Neither?
Has the party started or did it just get over…..
Were you invited?
Were you the party?
When meaning and sense-
Vapourise, all that remains are
Fast moving images,
That’s life-
Fast finishing ice- cream,
Emptying itself into chasms-
The products of depression
And fate's misadventure?
Lone candles wastefully burnt,
Sitting by disillusioned,
Eternal romantics-
Endlessly sipping reluctant gulps of wine,
To skew – the REAL.
love,
aditi.
p.s : something i wrote at one in the night... dont know if it will make sense in the morning.
5 comments:
the more i read it, the more i like it Adi, honestly!
i have not much of a way nor training with poetry n its making, but my tuppence would be that if 2 lines wd be removed, it wd be a lil more taut, and the imagery wd gel better -
The products of depression
And fate's misadventure?
i think it wd work better without those lines. The ice-cream emptyin itself into chasms wd then blend in beautifully with the lonely candle wax melting down wastefully.. the fluid imagery wd be retained without a break then, i think.
oh, so u wrote this coleridge style, in an opium dream! i need to get drunk again to understand this..:)..but it's nice..graphic.dense..like a phantasmagoria..
@ supi: yeah maybe that wud work thanks for the suggestion.....
but i thought.. i had to state the reason... for the existance of the chasms... but thats pretty obvious nw isnt it....
@ renu: ws not drunk... jus dazed.. its escapism... internals round the corner and i end up writing poetry or sumthng like it... or in other words rambling of a mad person...
it was published on this sunday. yes put it up in the dept and my sleeping-beauty wala pic next to it. kuch to entertainment hogi
me likes... and me agrees with Supi on that one... but good job! keep writing in the middle of the night!
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